Someone spoke to me today about how some slights they experienced at the hands of others--some being the result of a failure to communicate, others of thoughtlessness-- had led them to choose to stop attending their church. I listened, telling them that unfortunately people are very human and they make mistakes and are sometimes thoughtless or ungracious; that sometimes, someone's personality may cause them to appear less friendly and welcoming. I pointed out that they had said they found most of the people friendly and that perhaps they should focus on the friendliness of the majority rather than the lack of friendliness and/or courtesy on the part of others. Finally, I suggested that in leaving a church, or any other community for that matter, they should not leave differences unresolved, and then urged them to seek out a faith community to be part of whether, it was the one they'd left, or another.
After some reflection, I realized that I would have liked to urge them to pray for those they felt had offended them in some way. I've often found that praying for those who've offended me, whether it proved to be real or perceived, helped me to gain perspective and to respond in a less reactive way. The challenge is taking the step to pray before too much time has elapsed.
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