Came into work this morning and was quickly confronted with a number of problems--door locks not working, $230 repairs needed to our car, an antiquated HVAC system that doesn't work--I'm sure everybody has mornings like this. I was getting caught up in the rush when I realize how often I do this and the next thing I know, the day has flown by and I've not spent much time interracting with the people around me, telling my wife I love her, and maybe the worst of all, I've exhausted myself fixing everything and don't have the time or energy to invest in our relationship as I should. I need to change. I want to be less caught up with fixing everyting and to invest myself more in building relationships, growing, and especially in being the husband I know I am called to be.
I do really well in my busi-ness, I think that's the problem. I'm good at what I do. I fix things--policies, procedures, doors, machines, programs--but I don't always do so well with people. My busi-ness is all about me. It feeds my ego to be able to fix things, to make things run more smoothly, to clean up other people's messes and make sure I let people know that I did it.
What to do? How do I proceed? I'm tempted to ask how to fix this, but truth is that I know I can't. I've tried and I've succeeded for a short time in the past--devotions, retreats, books, even counseling-- but it never lasts.
What I'm realizing more and more is that it's a process and one I'm not in control of; rather God is, whether I want God to be or not.
Script-ures
The first passage that comes to mind is the story of Mary and Martha. (Luke 10:38-42) You know the one--Mary sits at Jesus feet listening while Martha busts her hump getting the house ready for guests. Naturally, Martha complains and Jesus tells Mary to get with it. Wait a minute, that's not how it goes. Jesus tells Martha that Mary is doing the right thing. That's it, not a good word for Martha, no commendation for her hard work and dedication to be a good hostess, which by the way was and is far more important in the Middle East than it is for us today; just a rebuke that she is concerning herself with everything but the one thing. Ouch!!! Wait a minute Jesus, how am I supposed to get anything done? What about the doors? I mean we're doing good work here, helping families whose children are in the hospital by giving them a place to stay, free meals, the opportunity to stay close to their sick child. Surely you don't want me to just drop everything and let the house go to pot while I just sit at your feet. What gives?
Another scripture comes to mind--Matthew 6:25-34 where it says (I'm paraphrasing) not to worry about food, clothing, or shelter, but to seek first God's kingdom and righteousness and God will provide all these things for you. It ends with an admonition not to worry about tomorrow, for each day has enough trouble of it's own. That I can easily agree with even if I do not always manage not to worry about tomorrow. Back to the not worrying about food, clothing, shelter... . Do Martha's worries fall under this as well? Do mine?
